Day One
11.18.2013
11.14.2013
Changes
He's currently asleep on me.
Passed out, clinging to "Doggie", a blanket he's had since birth and hasn't requested to sleep with in several months.
Moments ago he woke us both from a dead sleep, running into our room sobbing. Daddy scooped him up from the foot of our bed asking the normal run down ...
"Are you okay? ...
Are you hurt? ...
Did you have a bad dream?"
Sobs.
"I just want my mommy."
Cue my heart breaking slightly. I know what this is about. The changes have been very subtle. A little extra clingy here. A little more huggy there. A few attitude adjustments needed. A handful of tantrums thrown. But overall nothing we didn't expect. He's actually handled the changes in stride.
Again, his words and cries cutting through the dead silence of night ... "I just want my mommy."
I scooped him up in my lap and he sank into me whispering "I just, I just want you."
I rocked him till he started falling back asleep. Wiped away tears. While he lays here, snoring on top of my chest, it feels a little heavier in this moment.
I know he will be okay.
I know he is excited more than anyone, for his brother.
I know they will be best friends.
I know he knows it no way changes the way or amount we love him.
But tonight it hurts a little for a little boy coming to the realization of what it truly means to share.
Four more days of being an only.
But I promise you're always going to always be my first. Of everything.
10.22.2013
Mini mite
Its official. There's no turning back now. I hope Jack's hobbies eventually include something cheaper like water coloring, playing the harmonica or crocheting. With that said, I'm extremely proud of my child's obsession ... I mean dedication - to something that he has found he truly loves. He's one of the youngest on the team (they range 4-7 in age). His first practice was a little daunting as he realized he was skating with older, bigger kids now who have clearly been doing this a couple years, but he didn't give up. He's working extremely hard to listen and focus when the coaches rattle off drills. To be honest, I can barely follow what they're suppose to be doing sometimes! The mama bear in me says "He's only four!" , but I know it's teaching him discipline and forcing him to work harder. Me making excuses for him won't do him any good. He wanted to do this, so he needs to be held at the same level as everyone else, age or not. He's hit a confident stride these days out there and is making a lot of friends. There is something undeniable about him being on the ice that makes him into a totally different child than when he's off the ice. Maybe that's what passion looks like? I don't know, but its remarkable at times to watch. And not just Sully, but quite a few of these young kids are remarkable to watch out there. They are so little!
We only have two rules: You show your coaches respect by listening and you HAVE FUN!
So far, so good.
10.21.2013
Natural History Museum
S. has recently found a love for dinosaurs. I mean, he can recite the dinosaur alphabet. At one point I actually told him I was going to have to fact-check him on google because I was sure he was making some of the names up. He wasn't.
We thought it would be fun to take him down to L.A. and see the dinosaur exhibit at the Natural History Museum. It ended up being a great day. My sister and her husband joined us and we all had lunch and spent the day wandering the exhibit halls. We gave him an old camera to take his own pictures. It was actually pretty funny seeing the day through his perspective. I'll load his pictures eventually. And by eventually I mean in like a year when I come across them again because I forgot about them. He's already asking when we can go back.
Before we left we purchased a dinosaur egg that he got to hatch at home, which was a huge hit, until he (and we) realized it took 24-48 hours to actually hatch. My child has zero patience. Parent fail. Until it actually started hatching the following day. Then it was the coolest thing ever again.
We thought it would be fun to take him down to L.A. and see the dinosaur exhibit at the Natural History Museum. It ended up being a great day. My sister and her husband joined us and we all had lunch and spent the day wandering the exhibit halls. We gave him an old camera to take his own pictures. It was actually pretty funny seeing the day through his perspective. I'll load his pictures eventually. And by eventually I mean in like a year when I come across them again because I forgot about them. He's already asking when we can go back.
Before we left we purchased a dinosaur egg that he got to hatch at home, which was a huge hit, until he (and we) realized it took 24-48 hours to actually hatch. My child has zero patience. Parent fail. Until it actually started hatching the following day. Then it was the coolest thing ever again.
10.20.2013
10.07.2013
8.24.2013
Dear Jack
Dear Jack,
This weekend hit the 3rd trimester mark for us, which is kind of hard to believe. I'm always hoping that I'll have more time to write like I did when I was pregnant with your brother, but honestly, life looks extremely different than it did 5 years ago. Between work, preparing things at home for you and getting back into "baby mode", running after your very-active 4 year old brother, hockey, taking care of an old-allergy-ridden dog and everything else in between it's all I can do most nights to not conk out by 8 PM.
Okay so sometimes I do conk out by 8 PM.
The doctor's office called Monday to confirm you are officially scheduled on the books for delivery. It happens to be a very special day not only because you'll be joining us, but its also your Papa's birthday. It seems fitting that you would be scheduled to come on his birthday, seeing as how you are partially named after his mom.
Your big brother is really excited for you. I get to wake up most mornings to him crawling into our bed, hugging my tummy and saying "Good morning Baby Jack." He attends every doctor appointment with me and says your heart sounds "like a car engine." When he talks to you, you respond with thumps, and it sends him into laughter. I'm pretty sure you recognize his voice, and he thinks its pretty awesome. He's been insisting on sharing a room with you, but I'm sure that will be pretty short-lived the first time you don't stop crying at 1 in the morning.
As for you, well, you're a mover, just like your brother. It feels like some days you never stop. You are the most active around 3 AM, so you know, thanks for that. During this pregnancy I've lived for avocado toast on sourdough bread with veggie bacon and a veggie omelet. I've ate it practically every morning while pregnant with you, and sometimes for lunch. I'm not going to lie, I could eat it for dinner too and be totally fine. When we play music you roll around a ton. Right now you're breech, so the wonderful jabs to my ribs are actually your big 'ol noggin with your feet in the lower position to my left. You move when you hear your daddy or brother talking close to you.
I recently pulled out all the baby clothes we kept and washed them. When I stood back it was a little surreal to see tiny little baby clothes next to your brothers big boy clothes. Its still hard for my brain to piece together the fact that you will be here soon. There have been so many times that I've just stopped in the middle of making dinner, or walking through a store, driving in the car ... and looked at your dad and said "We're having another baby. Like, we're actually really-really having another baby. Sully is going to be a brother and we're going to have TWO kids." He just laughs. I love when your dad leans over and whispers "Goodnight" to you before bed and feels you kick his hand.
The fact you're coming, well, it blows me away every time.
There is so much I want to put down that just swirls in my head throughout the day ... but there's practice to get ready for, a sink full of dishes and a toy siren wailing in the house that Sully is playing with that hasn't stopped in 5 minutes that I must put an end to.
Keep growing little man, we'll see you soon. Just, not too soon.
This weekend hit the 3rd trimester mark for us, which is kind of hard to believe. I'm always hoping that I'll have more time to write like I did when I was pregnant with your brother, but honestly, life looks extremely different than it did 5 years ago. Between work, preparing things at home for you and getting back into "baby mode", running after your very-active 4 year old brother, hockey, taking care of an old-allergy-ridden dog and everything else in between it's all I can do most nights to not conk out by 8 PM.
Okay so sometimes I do conk out by 8 PM.
The doctor's office called Monday to confirm you are officially scheduled on the books for delivery. It happens to be a very special day not only because you'll be joining us, but its also your Papa's birthday. It seems fitting that you would be scheduled to come on his birthday, seeing as how you are partially named after his mom.
Your big brother is really excited for you. I get to wake up most mornings to him crawling into our bed, hugging my tummy and saying "Good morning Baby Jack." He attends every doctor appointment with me and says your heart sounds "like a car engine." When he talks to you, you respond with thumps, and it sends him into laughter. I'm pretty sure you recognize his voice, and he thinks its pretty awesome. He's been insisting on sharing a room with you, but I'm sure that will be pretty short-lived the first time you don't stop crying at 1 in the morning.
As for you, well, you're a mover, just like your brother. It feels like some days you never stop. You are the most active around 3 AM, so you know, thanks for that. During this pregnancy I've lived for avocado toast on sourdough bread with veggie bacon and a veggie omelet. I've ate it practically every morning while pregnant with you, and sometimes for lunch. I'm not going to lie, I could eat it for dinner too and be totally fine. When we play music you roll around a ton. Right now you're breech, so the wonderful jabs to my ribs are actually your big 'ol noggin with your feet in the lower position to my left. You move when you hear your daddy or brother talking close to you.
I recently pulled out all the baby clothes we kept and washed them. When I stood back it was a little surreal to see tiny little baby clothes next to your brothers big boy clothes. Its still hard for my brain to piece together the fact that you will be here soon. There have been so many times that I've just stopped in the middle of making dinner, or walking through a store, driving in the car ... and looked at your dad and said "We're having another baby. Like, we're actually really-really having another baby. Sully is going to be a brother and we're going to have TWO kids." He just laughs. I love when your dad leans over and whispers "Goodnight" to you before bed and feels you kick his hand.
The fact you're coming, well, it blows me away every time.
There is so much I want to put down that just swirls in my head throughout the day ... but there's practice to get ready for, a sink full of dishes and a toy siren wailing in the house that Sully is playing with that hasn't stopped in 5 minutes that I must put an end to.
Keep growing little man, we'll see you soon. Just, not too soon.
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