Changes

He's currently asleep on me. 

Passed out, clinging to "Doggie", a blanket he's had since birth and hasn't requested to sleep with in several months.

Moments ago he woke us both from a dead sleep, running into our room sobbing. Daddy scooped him up from the foot of our bed asking the normal run down ... 

"Are you okay? ... 

Are you hurt? ...

Did you have a bad dream?"

Sobs. 

"I just want my mommy."

Cue my heart breaking slightly. I know what this is about. The changes have been very subtle. A little extra clingy here. A little more huggy there. A few attitude adjustments needed. A handful of tantrums thrown. But overall nothing we didn't expect. He's actually handled the changes in stride. 

Again, his words and cries cutting through the dead silence of night ... "I just want my mommy."

I scooped him up in my lap and he sank into me whispering "I just, I just want you." 

I rocked him till he started falling back asleep. Wiped away tears. While he lays here, snoring on top of my chest, it feels a little heavier in this moment.

I know he will be okay.

I know he is excited more than anyone, for his brother. 

I know they will be best friends.

I know he knows it no way changes the way or amount we love him.

But tonight it hurts a little for a little boy coming to the realization of what it truly means to share. 

Four more days of being an only. 

But I promise you're always going to always be my first. Of everything.