Jax 6 months

4 am & I'm holding a sleeping Jax on me looking around my living room at the Lego building by the stairs, baby toys littered on the play mat & cars shoved in every corner possible. I have superhero figures on my nightstand and hotwheels on my kitchen floor. Im never able to find a pen in my purse but I can hand you a fistful of crackers, a bandaid or a hockey guy.  

Time. It seems like something I can never find anymore. And while lamenting over this, I glance at my phone and realize its the 18th, and this sleeping monkey on my chest is 6 months old today.

6 months. Jesus how did that happen so quick? So here you go Jax ... At 4 am, here are my favorite things about you so far ...

You're a little spitfire.

You have chubby little legs that I eat, a lot.

You adore your brother. He's your favorite person on this planet & can always make you laugh. Remember that in 15 years when you're trying to beat each other senseless.

You want to walk. So badly it results in tantrums & tears that your little legs will not let you go and keep up with your brother. 

You hate to be put down. My back thanks you for this.

You have the most beautiful sapphire blue eyes I've ever seen.

You've been rolling over for months now and are sitting up mostly unassisted.

You don't like peas.

You love to eat, all the time. And you best feed you within 10 seconds of your initial warning or things get ugly. Real ugly, real fast.

You spit out and throw to the ground any paci that isn't your favorite one. Did I mention you're kind of a little shit? :)

You figured out how to tilt your baby bouncers over, so we can't use them anymore. Thanks dude.

Everything goes into your mouth.

You still don't sleep through the night, but we'll get there.

You get so excited watching your brother and the big boys skate. You start grunting a d flapping your arms like a mad man squealing.

You've slept through a Kings game just like your brother at 5 months. You also ended up on the Jumbo-tron "dancing". You were famous that night!

You have an abnormally strong Kung-fu grip. You like to pull your brothers hair & laugh when he screams. It makes me secretly laugh too.

You still don't have hair. You do have a perfectly round head though.

Your fascinated with facial hair. You're especially fond of your Papas beard.

You sing.

You hate the dark. And the car. Driving you in the car when it's dark? Forget about it.

You take what we've dubbed "Jack Naps". You take 20 minute naps. TWENTY minute naps! For the love of all things, would you sleep child?

You love water. And dogs. And lights. And books. And being sung to. And your daddy when he comes home.

You have the biggest smile with the cutest dimples. Everyone always comments on your dimples and eyes.

You're a happy baby. Unlike your brother at this age, you love anybody that will look in your direction. Sully would have nothing to do with strangers. Everyone is your best friend. 

You wear 9 month clothing. 

You've figured out how to take your diaper off.

You're grumpy when you wake up.

You resemble your daddy, a lot.

Your brother calls you Jack-Jack bc you resemble and act like the baby in The Incredibles movie.

You have finger dimples, which I adore.

You are an extremely affectionate, cuddly baby.

You like boobs. Any boobs.

It's hard to believe 6 months has gone by this fast. I'm sorry I don't write enough, or take pictures enough it feels like, but this life is a much different one from 5 years ago. I'm doing my best to keep up with how unfairly fast it's going by. 

I'm completely loving my life. And you boys who have taken it completely over. There's not a whole lot of breathing room these days, but I know it will get better. The thought of more time in the day actually makes me a little sad. I know you two won't need us this much forever. So I'm trying to take it all in while it's here, now.

Happy 6 months Jaxie. I love you big, little dude!

Day 83

My little hockey player

Counting sheep

I can count on one hand the number of times I've slept in my own bed the past 3 months. 

It's mainly me, baby and the couch. 

It's just easier. Especially during the week when Brother Bear attends preschool and Daddy Bear commutes an hour to work each way. I can't see the point in waking either of them with a screaming baby while I'm home for now.

So the couch it is for Baby Bear and I. 

Last night was one of the few, blissful nights I got to sleep in my own bed. 

Until the baby started crying 2 minutes after going down into his crib (which currently resides in our room.)

Take two, baby back down. Blissful sleep, bed that is not couch. 

Until Brother Bear showed up schlepping his entire bedding & pillows into the middle of our bed. (Did I mention he's a violent sleeper? We've woken with fat lips sleeping with this kid.)

Take three. Baby down, brother bedded inbetween us, blissful sleep, blah blah blah.

Until my husband starts snoring. And the dog following suit shortly thereafter.

And I laughed. 

And looked around in the dark at my entire world.

All in one place.

My baby making whatever sounds you call that half kitten half sighing sound from his crib. My bigger baby curled up against my back with his feet crossed over my legs. My husband zonked out on his side. Hell, even the dog. 

How are all these boys mine? Seriously.

And I felt very blessed. And lucky. And like there was no other place I could ever imagine being. 

Except for the couch. 

Where I ended up 3 hours later. 

:)

Days 69-73

Days 54-58

Days 49-53

All aboard

Dear Jack,
It's almost been seven weeks since you arrived.
I'm tired.
Like really really tired.
It's funny how quickly you forget this part of babyhood.

Ah yes, the lack of sleep.
Smelling like baby vomit 99% of the time.
A five minute shower alone feeling like a vacation.
My house looks like a bomb went off in it on a daily basis.
Actually cooking a dinner is a hit-or-miss event these days and there is about two weeks worth of laundry piled up in the hampers.

There have been occasions where I've had more crying children than I have arms to hold.
I found a box of cereal just the other day I had put in the refrigerator.
I found the carton of milk in the cupboard.
Nice.

There have been moments my brain has felt like it was going to melt.
There have been moments I've cried in the shower thinking to myself there is no way I can do this.
And more moments than I can count that I've asked your brother to stop riding the dog.
For God sake, just please get off of the friggen dog.
She's old.

I've said on more than one occasion to my sister with a laugh over the phone as she hears the dog barking at the wind, you crying as I clean up the pee you just shot in your own eye and your brother screaming some hockey song at the top of his lungs while blowing into a whistle with no pants on... "This is my life." 

Because lets face it, if you can't beat the crazy train you mind as well just jump on the damn thing and go for the ride.

And it is my life, this crazy train. And I wouldn't change it.
Nobody else gets to claim this insanity.
Ride these ups and downs.
Take credit for you boys ...
Just your dad and I. We get that honor.
The good, the bad.
Its his. Its mine. Its ours.
And that's pretty stinkin' cool.

I'd jump on this damn thing every day of the week to ride it out with you three.

We've watched countless sunrises together over coffee and baby milk dates.
Every morning I hear the tippy-tapping of your brother's feet as he bounds for the stairs, and directly for you, asking how you are, rubbing his nose against your nose.
I've rounded countless corners catching your dad kissing the top of your head as he rocks you against his chest. You look so small in his arms.
Your favorite place to sleep in over our hearts.
You're happy as long as your're fed.
You belly laugh in your sleep.
You look for your brother when you hear his voice.
You smell like baby powder and sweet milk.
I've grown use to the tick-tock your baby swing makes as it lulls you asleep.

These days are messy.
They're noisy.
They're exhausting.
They're a bit on the raw side right now.
The frazzled side.
The want-to-eat-chocolate-all-day side.
They're completely different than the first time around.
And that's okay too.
They're ticking by already as we speak.
They're wonderful, and funny and beautiful.
And as crazy as they are, they feel oh so completely complete.

Thanks Jacksey for finding your way to us. For being such a wonderfully relaxed, chilled out baby. For making me a mom again. For making your dad a dad again. For making a brother out of S. He truly loves you. It's worth all the sleepless nights to see how much he truly loves and adores you.

I'm happy you decided  to jump on this ride with us.
Welcome aboard my littlest love.