I wish the table was square.

I wish a magical moving fairy would come to my rescue.
I wish I didn't feel like I'm in packing hell.
I wish I could find a hue of blue that didn't look like
a robin threw up all over my walls.
I wish my baby didn't have to go to preschool so soon.
I wish I dealt with stress better.
I wish work wasn't so hectic right now.
I wish I didn't have to be at work right now, period.
I wish my husband wasn't working so much all the time
either.
I wish the table was square.
I wish my dog didn't cost me an arm and a leg during the
holidays.
I wish my margarita maker was plugged in. I could really
use a drink right now.
I wish this 5-day-migraine-a-thon would go away.
I wish things were different.
I wish I could sleep soundly.
I wish there was less crying on Christmas and more
laughter.
Next year.
I wish I had got my normal coffee this morning.
I wish my baby boy felt better.
I wish Matthew wasn't dying.
I wish we had answers.
I wish he would just get better.
I'll keep wishing until we have a reason not to.
I wish I understood why.

Better late than never ...

A little sneak to what will be on their way soon. Better late than never right?!

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Smiling

Its nights like these, when I slip my hand under his pillow only to have it met by the cold metal of 3 matchbox cars that he has shoved under it before bed, that I have to smile.

And pinch myself.

Because those hidden treasures of a small boy who loves everything cars and trucks and trains and dirt and wrestling - are everything that I wanted that comes with a boy.

Little girls are great, I imagine - but there is just something undeniably magical about little boys. That glint of trouble that always lays right behind their eyes somewhere between frogs in their pockets and skinned knees with hands full of mud.

And today, when my habitual line stepper leaped in the air off the planters that he was asked to get down from for the 30th time in a row, I cringed a little as his ungraceful exit left his face kissing grass, where I asked him "Did you learn anything?!" ... to which my 19 month old son stood up, with cars still in hand, spit out grass and then yelled back -

"NO!", and did it again.

And I smiled.

And when I sneezed today and he turned his head my way and said "Bless Ju", ( I didn't even know he knew Bless You),

I smiled.

(Okay so thats not really trouble-maker material but it was too freakin' cute to not share.)

And when he screamed "HELP" like he was being murdered and I ran to see what predicament he was in this time, only to find him trying to scale the counter for a bag of cookies, I smiled.

And when I wiped the mud off his face before letting him eat the cookie, because he had been wrestling with three dogs in the dirt and had a hair full of leaves ...

Yeh, I smiled then too.

I don't know why I wanted a boy, or how I knew he was a boy before he was even a boy - mostly luck probably; but he's everything thats messy and mischievous, rambunctious and rowdy, hyper and hysterical - that I imagined, and hoped he would be.

And that, well ...

It makes me smile.

Tis the season for ...

A PAJAMA DRIVE!

Every year my family gets together to brainstorm for our annual holiday adoption. Normally we adopt families and supply them with everything they need for a Christmas dinner, but last year we changed it up with a crazy Christmas toy drive. Children in the community of Moorpark/Simi Valley were the receipents. We gifted our donations to First 5, the non-profit organization where I work, and were able to provide over 50 gifts to children in need in the community.

This year we're keeping it different and fun for us, and have decided to do a pajama drive. Our goal is to put together as many gifts baskets that will include a new set of pajamas, a new blanket and book - for as many babies, toddlers and kids as we possibly can. The jury is still out who we will gift the donations to, but there are talks about First 5 again (there are a lot of families in need this year) or the Ventura Co. Homeless Shelter.

We've had amazing friends in the past who have helped contribute to these drives. Due to the high volume of families in need, we would love any help our friends and family would like to offer. Here is what we will be gathering:

* New girl/boy/unisex pajamas for infants to children 10 years of age.
* New fleece throws (The little cheap ones!)
* Unused/new homemade fleece-tie blankets
* New children's books
* Help with gift wrapping

Even JUST ONE pair of new pajamas or new blanket makes a huge difference to these children. So far we have 15 complete gift sets. We plan on dropping off the Pajama gift sets by December 20th.

If you want to participate, we would love it! Email/text or message me on Facebook if you'd like to join the cause.

Happy Holidays ya all!
The Curtis Clan & Otwell/Stevens Family

Real Conversations III

Stephanie: "Hey babe, you here, its important."

Shaun: "Sorry, I'm here. I might throw up."

Stephanie: "Why? Did you see Rosie ODonnell in cutoffs?"

Shaun: "I was on the 3-D machine, I would rather see that. I had to get it to work, and that I did, but not well."

Stephanie: "Oh, I'm sorry babe. Close your eyes, or focus on one thing, like an ice skater. I learned that watching the Cutting Edge. You're welcome."

Insert Proud Mama Moment (Here)

Sully came up to me in the kitchen while I was cutting potatoes for breakfast this morning. He said "Uh oh, Mama! Poopies!" and pointed to the back of his pants.

Yay!

We high fived, a lot. See, knowing when you have a poop in your pants is something we've been working on for awhile now. This-is-a-big-deal. Its a potty milestone.

If he were in the toddler scouts, this would definitely be a badge.

I've been waiting for this moment for a few months since we busted out the potty for training. We haven't been huge sticklers about it, because I think he's still young in my opinion to go hardcore with the potty training, but we let him dictate when he's interested with it, and when he's not. I completely, 100% believe that children will let you know when they are ready to conquer huge transitions, like potty training. Its the same philosophy and approach I had when I was a nanny and then a teacher. I feel the same about his bottle. Yes, my child still gets a night time bottle. And he also gets to sleep with us when he wants. (GASP) But on his own, he's been phasing both out, without a whole lot of reinforcement from Shaun or I. He's decided on his own that he doesn't need his bottle, for the most part. And a lot of nights will opt for his bed instead of ours. It's not laziness or fear of the dreaded toddler/parent confrontation that molds our parenting style, quite the exact opposite in fact. I want him to be in a secure, confident place as he conquers these milestones. Its the same reason I let him pick out his clothes and what he wants to eat or what he wants to play.

Confidence baby.

Life is hard enough man. I'd rather work on things like him not running away from me in the park like a bat out of hell, picking up his toys or throwing that apple he's done with in the trash rather than on the floor. We tend to forget sometimes that they are still babies. I think we force too much on children way too young, but I'm digressing. That is a whole other post and tangent for a morning when more time is involved.

We've slowly have been trying to incorporate things like the potty chair out where he can get to it and practicing with his bears, flushing the toilet, talking about his big boy under-roos I put over his diaper and how cool they are - and lastly, recognizing when he has gone potty and being able to tell us. Finally! Hopefully a smooth transition is in our future down the road.



I never thought we'd be so excited about poop!