Camping

On June 3rd, with a truck filled to the brim with WAY more crap than I ever remember needing to camp, we headed to Malibu Creek State Park, for our first camping trip with Sully.

Since Shaun and I hadn't been camping in 10 years, we decided something close to home would be best - you know, in case things took a horribly wrong turn.

It wasn't the kind of camping I necessarily remembered, with camp grounds stacked together side by side - but it was fun.

This, was our camping training wheels.

We ended up having a blast, and Sully seems like a natural born camper for never having gone. He thought it was awesome sleeping outside in the tent, had fun learning to play football with Uncle B and Dylan, and let daddy teach him how to properly roast a outdoor hot dog. We went for a hike and saw a really pretty rock pond, and I successfully crossed a small creek over a log with a 30 lb baby strapped to my back in pack and didn't once touch water - with the help of some strong arms of course. We saw mule deer, which was pretty cool too.

Saturday night Sully and his friend Jayden climbed up into the Xterra while Shaun hooked up the dvd player and we all sat at the picnic bench right next to the door so we could get a game or two of Apples to Apples in, in the pitch dark. Note to self, more lanterns next time. The "wilderness" is dark.

It rained a little - and I won't talk about how Shaun gave me crap for all the blankets and double pjs I brought. I won't talk about him insisting it wouldn't get that cold at night. And I definitely, will not, talk about how he woke up at 2 in the morning shaking like a leaf and chattering his teeth mumbling some expletives about how bloody cold it was and had me give him some extra blankets. Yeh, I won't talk about that at all.

Overall, we're really looking forward to doing it again and had a lot of fun with everyone.

Sully and Jayden playing in the ice boxes. This went on for about an hour, and they thought it was the funniest thing ever taking turns spitting the ice out.

The boys playing some football.

Sunset on Friday night

Sully getting ready to roast some dogs

The boys caught wind of one of these little guys in the bushes right behind us ...

And did their best to lure them out ...

To no real avail - Chipmunks 1:Sully & Jayden 0

Jayden "C'mon lets go! He's not coming out."

Sully - "Well I mean, should we try that cheeto tactic again?"

Sully - "So is that a no orrrrr ....?" Jayden - "You're on your own! I'm out."

Saturday morning

What he's lived in for 12 months - on our second pair

Cars, don't leave home without them

Being a dude

Eating lunch with Jayden

Our little hike

Whatever you are, be a good one.

"Be who you are

And say what you feel

Because those who mind don't matter

And those who matter don't mind"

- Dr. Suess

Yesterday Sully and I made a trip to Target for some last minute camping stuff when he found the pacifier's down an aisle. We've been working on curtailing the "paci" usage, so I did my best to sway his decision by offering up an Icee once we got ready to leave for being a big boy.

He wasn't budging, so I said okay since we just threw away all but 3 that were bad.

After a lot of deliberating over all of his choices (its the first time ever he got to pick) he handed me the pink ones.

The purple and pink paci's with PRINCESS slapped across them.

In a span of 3 seconds or so my mind raced back to an article I had just read last week about the expectations we place on children's gender roles and the freedom we as adults should be giving them to make choices for themselves, gender expectations placed aside.

I consider myself to be laid back about these kind of issues - for his birthday he got a kitchen (not a BBQ "boy" set) to "cook", he has baby dolls and I encourage all forms of dancing, even ballet in our house. We practice the acceptance of everyone in our home and work really hard as parents to teach Sully to celebrate people's differences. Yeh, I'm aware this all sounds very hippie-dippy, and perhaps a bit naive, but I really do believe change in our world starts at home. It starts here and now.

But I won't lie, even my knee-jerk reaction at the blatantly "girlish" paci's was to say those weren't for little boys. Way to practice what you preach, girl.

Damn it.

I didn't, thank god - catching myself in that 3 second span of time before I actually opened my mouth and said something stupid. I smiled, and held out the pink paci's with a set of green ones and asked him to pick again, just to make sure he got the ones he wanted.

He jumped and smiled and yelled "The pink paci's Mama!" - I offered them up, and he grabbed them and smiled and hugged them to his chest.

Walking through Target I wondered what other people were thinking as my obviously boy child protested loudly for the purple and pink princess paci's to be opened for him - if they thought anything at all.

I wondered for about a second, coming to a quick conclusion that I really didn't care what other people thought. I care more about my son feeling supported in the choices he's learning to make for himself, whatever those are.

That small tinge of fear wasn't for how people would judge me - but how they would judge him - because society is harsh, and ignorant people will place and pass judgments even on a two-year-old little boy for having a purple princess binky in his mouth, jumping to conclusions about who or how someone is. I can only hope now that our choice in how to approach and support these matters , no matter the context - makes for a confident and bold adult some day, willing to go against the tide or popular thing when need be.

I wonder if those people know his favorite color is purple because its his beloved King's hockey color or that he has no idea what a princess even is - and that he likes pink because piggies are pink, and he adores his piggies.

We never even made it out of the store with them. Once we rounded to the front and his eyes caught the Icee machine he placed them on a shelf and asked for one instead of the paci's. I would have preferred the paci's - because 20 short minutes later I was on my hands and knees cleaning neon blue puke from my floor my kid decided to ralph up everywhere.

Note to self: I have never been so happy to have wood floors as I was in that moment.

I kind of wish he had come home with them. Don't get me wrong - I'm happy that he made the choice not to, I know he's growing up - but part of me wishes he had, for so many reasons. I never expected that having a child would make me feel so soundly grounded in my convictions, so completely passionate and ready to stand up for my son in regards to his, whether he's 2 or 20. Because one day he'll possibly come across this - and he'll know his Mama always had his back, and proudly held his hand as he clutched his pink paci's in the other that one day in Target that he doesn't remember - haters be damned.

There's a sense of perspective I've gained with the birth of my son, of understanding and unconditional love. He's my heart, walking around outside of my chest - he's our decisions and choices and personal character and life lessons staring us right back in the face. He's our Bubbi, our hell raiser, our cuddle-bug, our computer wizard - our dirt eater and lizard catcher. He's our little hockey player, our artist, our car and train fanatic, our chef, our rock star and sometimes, even our little Princess.

May happenings

The weather is starting to warm up, which means a lot more of outside time. As I speak the child is somewhere in the backyard wielding two water guns.

I love rain, but this, this has been glorious lately ...Super cheap activity. It includes a whole lot of these (Soft blocks. My mom actually found these ones at Ross for super cheap)

And a bowl full of this ... (Men's shaving cream)

And a little bit of imagination,
It pays sometimes to have a mommy that use to be a teacher.

Our latest flannel story we made, pattern courtesy of my works flannel board workshop.

There have been an abundance of these in our yard lately. Notice it missing anything? Murphy now has a boarder line obsession with patrolling the yard for them.. This particular one had a mean streak, so I didn't feel that bad it lost its tail, served it right. What you don't see in this picture is me standing on a ledge because my son has ran inside and slammed the slider door shut while the lizard bum-rushed me and the dog, leaving me with no escape.

Thanks Sully.
Speaking of obsessions, Sully has one with birthdays right now. He insists that his birthday is every Saturday if you ask him. Anything that can be lit is now a candle, which warrants an impromptu Happy Birthday sing-a-long, no matter where we are, or what we're doing. The little candles at the Mexican restaurant full of people are no exception either.

Yes, thats a birthday cake. No, its not anybodies birthday. Yes, I'm just a rad mom.
Sully doing some afternoon painting projects ...

Its still a little too cold to hit up the pool just yet, but it hasn't stopped us from having a little water fun in the sun in the meantime.
Our new chalkboard wall I painted in the kitchen. He loves it so much I'm extending it all the way down to the floor, which I should have just done in the first place. (Stupid, Steph)
A few weeks ago we all gathered at the beach with a few soon to be new family members and friends to witness this event we all had a little part in helping with ...
(My sister and her best friend Danielle aka accomplice in crime aka cake eaters)
My sisters boyfriend waiting for her on a bench overlooking the ocean, just seconds before he popped THEE big question. (All the pictures I have of her are like this - bent over either laughing or crying.)
To be honest, I never thought my sister and Danielle would come back from Vegas that fateful Valentines day weekend over a year and half ago with a soon-to-be-husband in tow for my sister.

Anybody who is capable of balancing out that teeter-totter without slamming down hard to catapult her off is a win in my book. I've never seen you drive a yellow car, I'm pretty sure your ears aren't pierced and you don't have any holy man ink on your body. I'm also pretty sure you've never summoned "The Wizard" in my kitchen at 2 am in the morning.

All wins, dude.

I knew when she came back from that epic first date, this was different - mainly because we didn't stay up late trash talking you over ice cream. You make her happy, and my kid doesn't run away from you crying, so we're legit.

We're excited to have you become official, because I think we can agree you've already been a part of this family for awhile now.

I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas until you find out it followed you home and lives about 20 minutes away from your house.

Maybe that little fat angel in the loin cloth with the arrow actually does know a thing or two.



And just because he's freakin' cute. Who doesn't love water fights?

We had a fun day at the zoo this Saturday, but it didn't yield too many photos since my little bit is everywhere anymore and I flew solo with my fam since the hubs was home sick.

We're going camping next weekend for the first time ever with Sully. Wish us luck and stay tunned ....

Spellbound

Tonight in the bathtub, Sully pointed to the foam S sticking on the wall and said "S!"

He then methodically followed it with a U, L, L, I, V an A and an N.

I would like to solve the puzzle Pat.

What is, my son spelled his frickin name!

He also yelled "Sulliban!" right after. (His V's sound like B's and its really cute)

I whipped my phone video out and asked him to do it again.

He laughed.

I offered candy and he started with the S, and then laughed and said "Nooooo."

Tease.

Nobody is ever going to believe me.

Thank you Leapfrog.

I will be giving you 5 gold stars.

Two

I attempted to start writing this entry back in March.
The 16th to be exact.
Yeah, I'm aware it's now
May 13th - and almost an entire month past Sully's
2nd
birthday.

Two.

I've attempted to start it so many times, but to be honest,
I'm left stumbling a lot, searching for what I
want
to say,
that isn't redundant or rehashed feelings from the past
2 years.
I swear its been the blink of an eye, Sully.

A blink.
And then my baby, you were two.
Its bittersweet.
So
extremely
bittersweet.

There have been quite a few happenings the start of this new year, that have left me,
breathless.
My heart-aching a little.
Or a lot.
But all none-the-less, that have left me
completely and humbly
grateful
for everything
that is
you.

I can honestly say there hasn't been a day since you've been born, that I haven't stopped at
least
once
a day,
and caught my breath -
and
thanked
the universe for whatever I did to
deserve you.

And as I sat on the park bench last week,
watching you play,
and run,
and squeal -
I was left wondering -
If every parent feels this way about their child.

And I felt a deep void for those who don't.
Because how
can
you
not.

And while we have those days that I swear I'm going to hang you
upside down,
by your shoe strings,
outside in the tree with a
For Sale sign
slapped to your chest -
they are far outnumbered by the
amount of days
that I've stopped dead in my tracks,
around the corner -
and listened to you
sing
in your playroom when you think
I'm not there.
And I smile so long,
and so hard,
that it hurts.

Far outnumbered,
by the amount of times
you've proudly cracked eggs into the bowl,
which have left me fishing out more shells
than I care to count.
And eating more crunchy muffins
than I care
to talk about
as you declare - "Mmmm these tasty Mama!"

Far outnumbered,
by the nights I've sat with you and your daddy watching hockey,
and listened to you scream
at the television,
waving your arms around like some
kind of baby sports lunatic.
Rooting for a score - waving your stick up high,
and patting us on the head like you see them do
when the goal is made.
(It is in fact, where you let your first
F-bomb fall on stunned ears -
when a goal was let through.
What can I say,
you're your father's
boy.)

I'm hard pressed to remember what life was like
before.
Before hoards of toys overtook my house.
Before I ever willingly woke up at 6 am on a Saturday.
Before the crayon drawings ever appeared on my walls.
Before I ever dealt with screaming fits of rage in the toy aisles.

And that's okay,
because the
truth
is
you
are so much more fulfilling than a
clean house
ever was.
I'd take
your wake up call
over any alarm clock -
any day.

And as I scoop your screaming flailing ass up in the store
and carry you like a football under my arm,
pushing my cart with my other free hand
cool and collected-
I smile
and nod at other mom's,
because
I've got this.

Because as you grow,
I do too.
As you become more confident
in the
person
you're becoming,
I do too.

I'm hard pressed to
remember
"before"
some days.
And that's okay.
Because
you
are the best thing,
I've
ever
done.

And that's worth
any before
I could ever
truly remember
during these past
two years.
Its worth
everything.

Any expectations I had the morning of
April 16th, 2009
on what this journey would be like
what it would hold -
well -
there's no words.
It has exceeded anything
and everything
I spent dreaming up those 9 months.

And we celebrate.
We celebrate all the milestones,
all the smiles,
all funny quips,
and faces,
and words and numbers
and crayon drawings on the walls.
Even the Baby For Sale days.

We celebrate you,
and everything you've brought to the table
these past
two,
wonderfully magical,
challenging
and rewarding
years.

You've exceeded
anything
and
everything
I ever thought I could dream up
that morning,
two years ago.

A million kisses Bubbi -
to the moon and back.
Happy Birthday Sullivan.

A what fish?

You know quite a few sea animals.

You know what a whale is.

What an octopus is.

What fish are called.

Dolphins, sharks, eels and sea lions.

But yesterday one stumped you.

You sat quietly for a few minutes when it popped up, and we could see the wheels in your head turning, until you proudly declared;

"APPLEFISH!"

It was really a jellyfish we were looking at, but Daddy said since you pulled it out of one of the food groups, and technically apple can be made into jelly - it counts.

Applefish put a smile on my face.

Brat

I was making lunch yesterday in the kitchen when Sully came up to me.

Now, you need to know that Shaun and I's approach to the TV rule is on opposite spectrum. I have a somewhat hardcore approach ... unless you're sick on your deathbed to warrant marathon carton watching - you get a cartoon in the morning with your breakfast, and then one at night before bed, after you've eaten and bathed. Daddy ... well not so much. And that's fine. We just have different feelings about it. (Sully can usually be found with Shaun watching hockey. A surprise, I know.)

Well, apparently the two-year-old has caught on fast about whose a quick TV sale and whose not.

Okay, so back to the kitchen, where he came up to me and very politely asked,

"Mommy, TV please?" and cocked his head to the side and gave a big toothy smile.

He was selling himself hard, let me tell you. I bit my lip trying not to laugh.

"I really like the way you asked. But we have music on right now."

"Mama! TV PLEASE!" ... the sweet smile now being replaced with an abrupt I'm-really-serious-right-now-foot-stomp.

"Not right now. We're about to each lunch."

"Wheres Daddy?!"

I thought this wasn't suppose to start until they were like, teenagers. Freakin' brat.