Every parent shovels them out to try and get the response they want out of their children. Bless my husband for trying.
Sully: In the middle of throwing a rolling-on-the-floor-like-I'm-on-fire-tantrum.
Shaun: "You want to cry, because I'll give you something to scream about. SOCIAL SECURITY, there won't be any when you're old. THINK ABOUT IT!"
Sully: SCREAM
Shaun: "I know, its terrifying isn't it. ISN'T IT!"
6.29.2010
6.09.2010
Dimples
I'm not even sure where to start.
I was exhausted all day today, but its just becoming the new norm for Shaun and I running around after a toddler. The days can be challenging at times, especially with such a high energy, do and think later, thinks no's are funny, stubborn as the day is long, 100% boy we have in our house. The past couple days have been frustrating more than not as Shaun and I try to discover what our happy place is on the spectrum of discipline with Sully and then on top of that remaining as consistent as we possibly can with the follow up. As Shaun said, they sure don't tell you about days like these in the parenting books.
No, no they don't baby. I even looked in all the indexes and "frazzled" wasn't listed once.
As I laid in bed ... frazzled ... I watched Sully as he looked at me and smiled while his eyes started to dose back. He grabbed my hand and pulled it up onto his tummy and I asked "Tickle?" (which that usually means ... tummy rubs are the best btw) and he shook his head no. He put his little hand around mine and squeezed it, then fell asleep. Guess he was just in need of a security blanket, literally. I looked at the dimples in his hands and it made me think of the dimples in his cheeks. God I love it when he smiles. He also has a dimple under his right eye that makes itself present when he smiles or laughs really hard. His whole face lights up. Its the kind of thing that I know one day will be the thing that makes a girl fall head over heels for him. And it reminded me that I wouldn't trade frazzled days, stepping on a building block he's put in my shoe or having mashed up crackers in the bottom of my purse ... for anything.
Even on the challenging days like today.
All those things that can make the days "challenging are the things that also make him into everything that I love about him. He's my spirited child and it pours itself out into everything that he does. And I think thats pretty amazing, especially at 1.
I have a philosophy; there is no such thing as a bad child, just bad parents. So I need to do what I can to figure out how to better meet his needs. I guess I forget sometimes that maybe he really does miss Shaun and I when we're gone during the day. Scratch that. I know he does. My hand on his tummy with his little fat fingers clenching it says that he does.
Having a child has made me have some pretty serious a-ha moments. I'm trying better to change those things about me so I can be a better parent to Sully. To learn to take those "challenges" and turn them into something positive for us both. I cringe sometimes to think that his first real word was "No". I don't want to be that parent, the "No" parent. Its a work in progress, but hey, we're at least working on it.
Sullivan.
He's just shy of 14 months old and is now a full fledged walker ... and climber I might add. He loves avocados, carrots, yogurt, climbing (I think I said that) anything that has to do with water, his red push-car he rides outside, the cats, terrorizing the dogs with hockey sticks, hockey, running around with no diaper, using anything that looks like it could be a phone as a phone,chicken nuggets, chalk, things with buttons, brushing his hair, drinking out of "grown up" glasses and then backwashing into the poor soul's glass that was suckered into letting him have a "sip". And he loves music. We dance to it, sing it, sign it, you name it.
He dislikes diaper changes, getting dressed, being told no, most juices, growing teeth, sitting still, crust, foods with funky textures, and wearing the tutus mommy makes for our little girl friends to get measurements.
He can sign drink, please, more and all done. He also does the hand gestures to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Wheels on the Bus and and Little Red Caboose. He is saying new words everyday, his top favorite being mama, dada, no, yes (yesh), dog, dat (whats that which is accompanied by the cutest little finger point in the shape of a sideways gun that I've ever seen) and today we've added car (kah-KA!).
We recently went to the doctor to have his ears checked and he weighed in at 24.7 lbs. I have no idea where his height currently stands, but I do know that in our Mommy & Me class he's the same height as most of the 2 year olds and towers over the kiddos in the 10-14 month range.
Recently I found out the school I use to teach at, at the college I graduated from has now added a 2 year old preschool class. Before, the kiddos had to be on the later end of 2-3 years of age to enroll. Shaun and I talked and we're enrolling him for August of 2011 - application has already been sent in and on the waiting list. Sully will attend two days a week. Its still a little ways away but I'm really excited for him to have a place where I know he will thrive a couple times a week. MP CDC is by far one of the best preschools around, and it will always hold such a very special place in my heart. Working there and being an alumni left me with some amazing people I'm lucky to call friends and some even funnier memories. I gladly will leave my child to them. I know he's going to love it.
Mexico was great, except for the sea sickness. last week we had a fun day at the SB Zoo ... got to love those year passes. We had an impromptu BBQ here last Sunday for Memorial Day with our group of friends. This week upcoming will mark the start of the June birthday festivities in our house followed by fathers day. For mother's day Shaun got me a Nikon camera photography book that I've been trying to read in whatever spare time I can get once Sully is down. I've also had a handful of crafts that I've been working on for friends, and Sully as well. We fill the rest of the days with parks, zoos, walks, baking (Sully has discovered the beater) and living in the pool outside on the warmer days.
What else can I say, life is good man.
I was exhausted all day today, but its just becoming the new norm for Shaun and I running around after a toddler. The days can be challenging at times, especially with such a high energy, do and think later, thinks no's are funny, stubborn as the day is long, 100% boy we have in our house. The past couple days have been frustrating more than not as Shaun and I try to discover what our happy place is on the spectrum of discipline with Sully and then on top of that remaining as consistent as we possibly can with the follow up. As Shaun said, they sure don't tell you about days like these in the parenting books.
No, no they don't baby. I even looked in all the indexes and "frazzled" wasn't listed once.
As I laid in bed ... frazzled ... I watched Sully as he looked at me and smiled while his eyes started to dose back. He grabbed my hand and pulled it up onto his tummy and I asked "Tickle?" (which that usually means ... tummy rubs are the best btw) and he shook his head no. He put his little hand around mine and squeezed it, then fell asleep. Guess he was just in need of a security blanket, literally. I looked at the dimples in his hands and it made me think of the dimples in his cheeks. God I love it when he smiles. He also has a dimple under his right eye that makes itself present when he smiles or laughs really hard. His whole face lights up. Its the kind of thing that I know one day will be the thing that makes a girl fall head over heels for him. And it reminded me that I wouldn't trade frazzled days, stepping on a building block he's put in my shoe or having mashed up crackers in the bottom of my purse ... for anything.
Even on the challenging days like today.
All those things that can make the days "challenging are the things that also make him into everything that I love about him. He's my spirited child and it pours itself out into everything that he does. And I think thats pretty amazing, especially at 1.
I have a philosophy; there is no such thing as a bad child, just bad parents. So I need to do what I can to figure out how to better meet his needs. I guess I forget sometimes that maybe he really does miss Shaun and I when we're gone during the day. Scratch that. I know he does. My hand on his tummy with his little fat fingers clenching it says that he does.
Having a child has made me have some pretty serious a-ha moments. I'm trying better to change those things about me so I can be a better parent to Sully. To learn to take those "challenges" and turn them into something positive for us both. I cringe sometimes to think that his first real word was "No". I don't want to be that parent, the "No" parent. Its a work in progress, but hey, we're at least working on it.
Sullivan.
He's just shy of 14 months old and is now a full fledged walker ... and climber I might add. He loves avocados, carrots, yogurt, climbing (I think I said that) anything that has to do with water, his red push-car he rides outside, the cats, terrorizing the dogs with hockey sticks, hockey, running around with no diaper, using anything that looks like it could be a phone as a phone,chicken nuggets, chalk, things with buttons, brushing his hair, drinking out of "grown up" glasses and then backwashing into the poor soul's glass that was suckered into letting him have a "sip". And he loves music. We dance to it, sing it, sign it, you name it.
He dislikes diaper changes, getting dressed, being told no, most juices, growing teeth, sitting still, crust, foods with funky textures, and wearing the tutus mommy makes for our little girl friends to get measurements.
He can sign drink, please, more and all done. He also does the hand gestures to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Wheels on the Bus and and Little Red Caboose. He is saying new words everyday, his top favorite being mama, dada, no, yes (yesh), dog, dat (whats that which is accompanied by the cutest little finger point in the shape of a sideways gun that I've ever seen) and today we've added car (kah-KA!).
We recently went to the doctor to have his ears checked and he weighed in at 24.7 lbs. I have no idea where his height currently stands, but I do know that in our Mommy & Me class he's the same height as most of the 2 year olds and towers over the kiddos in the 10-14 month range.
Recently I found out the school I use to teach at, at the college I graduated from has now added a 2 year old preschool class. Before, the kiddos had to be on the later end of 2-3 years of age to enroll. Shaun and I talked and we're enrolling him for August of 2011 - application has already been sent in and on the waiting list. Sully will attend two days a week. Its still a little ways away but I'm really excited for him to have a place where I know he will thrive a couple times a week. MP CDC is by far one of the best preschools around, and it will always hold such a very special place in my heart. Working there and being an alumni left me with some amazing people I'm lucky to call friends and some even funnier memories. I gladly will leave my child to them. I know he's going to love it.
Mexico was great, except for the sea sickness. last week we had a fun day at the SB Zoo ... got to love those year passes. We had an impromptu BBQ here last Sunday for Memorial Day with our group of friends. This week upcoming will mark the start of the June birthday festivities in our house followed by fathers day. For mother's day Shaun got me a Nikon camera photography book that I've been trying to read in whatever spare time I can get once Sully is down. I've also had a handful of crafts that I've been working on for friends, and Sully as well. We fill the rest of the days with parks, zoos, walks, baking (Sully has discovered the beater) and living in the pool outside on the warmer days.
What else can I say, life is good man.
5.26.2010
Music man
Yesterday in the car, Sully was dancing in his car seat to Blind Melon's "No Rain".
Then Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This" came on. The clapping ceased, followed by a long pause, and then a very loud "Nooooo!" from the back seat.
I scanned the radio and landed on "Lay Me Down"by the Dirty Heads. Sully started clapping and resumed his dancing.
I freaking love my kid.
Then Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This" came on. The clapping ceased, followed by a long pause, and then a very loud "Nooooo!" from the back seat.
I scanned the radio and landed on "Lay Me Down"by the Dirty Heads. Sully started clapping and resumed his dancing.
I freaking love my kid.
5.03.2010
Working Mamas
I am a working mother. And yes, I'm perfectly happy with that.
Its really starting to piss me off when stay-at-home moms take pity on me because my husband and I work full-time. But what really gets to me is when they assume I work because I have to & not because maybe, I actually truly enjoy what I do - and find out that given the choice to stay home or work, I'd still choose to be a working mom.
That's when the tongues really start to wag.
I'm tired of society thinking that being a stay home mom is some elite group that all mothers strive to be a part of. Because you know, its really not.
Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, but he does not define the only thing that I am.
I have good days and bad days being a working mom. There are days that I would rather be spending with my son than behind a desk going through applications, crunching budget numbers or processing provider invoices. There are moments in the day when I'm at my office that I wonder what he's doing. I'm fortunate enough to have a mom who happily spoils her grandson rotten three days a week while I'm at my office. I'm also fortunate to work for a boss & company that understand and respect the idea of being working parents and allow me to work two days a week from my home so that I can be there more for my son.
See, I built this program from the ground up long before the thought of Sully was ever in the picture. As all my co-workers say, this program is my "at work baby". I get the chance to help families every day - to make a difference. I may bitch and grumble about it from time to time, but its something that I'm not willing to easily walk away from. I logged so many hours on and off the clock the first couple of years getting this program to a point where it was functional and working. Meetings, workshops, proposals, late nights, weekends ... all in the name of creating something that could work for this community of parents that I've grown to love. I'm never going to make 6 figures working in non profit. None of us will. We do it because we love what it stands for, because we love what we do, because we have a passion and commitment for it. To understand that, is to understand me - its what makes me a better person, a better parent - every day. Its the foundation of all things that I want to pass on to my son.
I always thought that having a baby would automatically mean putting my career on hold, quitting my job, and staying home. I also now realize that those are the hopes and dreams of others around me, not mine. I'm comfortable enough with myself to say that I would not be content as a stay home mommy. I love Sullivan - and the time that I spend with him is by far the best of each and every single day. But I also know that NOT being with him every single waking hour is what makes me a better parent - it allows me to fully appreciate the time that I do have with him and forces me to be 110% on my game, all of the time. It pushes me to give him more of myself each day and not take for granted the things that we are able to do. It forces me to be a better wife and Shaun a better husband and father. It has allowed our family to create a truly egalitarian union. There is no his and her jobs in our house (with the exception of spiders). There is no such thing and my money or Shaun's money. We both work equally hard. We both pull our weight. Together, we work seamlessly (most days anyways) to ensure ALL jobs are getting done around the house. If you come to our house you'll more than likely see me picking up dog poop, taking out the trash or taking the cars in for maintenance. You'll probably see my husband cooking, folding laundry or bathing, reading and singing our child to sleep at night. There are no such things as titles or lines drawn in the sand in our family.
And we very much like it that way.
I wouldn't be 100% truthful if I didn't acknowledge that as a woman, it makes me proud to look at the things we have, the places that we go and the things that we do - and say that I have financially contributed equally to those things. I work as hard as any man to provide for my family and still get dinner made, the bills paid and everyone to sleep on time. I still make cupcakes for my husbands work, take my son to classes, and walk my dog. I take my son to the zoo, have play dates with friends and do the grocery shopping. Everyone has clean underwear, lunches made, and my house is not falling apart.
"But you'll never be a PTA Mom. You'll never be able to be a soccer mom." Says who, you? I may not be able to bake cookies or hit the park up with him every single day, but he has a wonderful supporting cast of people in his life that make sure he is not for lack of any of those things. Its a juggling act that I don't have down 100% just yet - I drop a few balls now and again, but its one that I find with each day I get better and more confident at. For first time parents, I don't think we're doing too shabby. And when that little voice of doubt creeps into my head that perhaps I'm being selfish - perhaps we haven't made the right choices; I just look at my son who practically always has a smile on his face and a hug waiting for me as soon as I put my work bag down.
And I know that yes, I am a working mom. And yes, I am perfectly happy with that.
Its really starting to piss me off when stay-at-home moms take pity on me because my husband and I work full-time. But what really gets to me is when they assume I work because I have to & not because maybe, I actually truly enjoy what I do - and find out that given the choice to stay home or work, I'd still choose to be a working mom.
That's when the tongues really start to wag.
I'm tired of society thinking that being a stay home mom is some elite group that all mothers strive to be a part of. Because you know, its really not.
Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, but he does not define the only thing that I am.
I have good days and bad days being a working mom. There are days that I would rather be spending with my son than behind a desk going through applications, crunching budget numbers or processing provider invoices. There are moments in the day when I'm at my office that I wonder what he's doing. I'm fortunate enough to have a mom who happily spoils her grandson rotten three days a week while I'm at my office. I'm also fortunate to work for a boss & company that understand and respect the idea of being working parents and allow me to work two days a week from my home so that I can be there more for my son.
See, I built this program from the ground up long before the thought of Sully was ever in the picture. As all my co-workers say, this program is my "at work baby". I get the chance to help families every day - to make a difference. I may bitch and grumble about it from time to time, but its something that I'm not willing to easily walk away from. I logged so many hours on and off the clock the first couple of years getting this program to a point where it was functional and working. Meetings, workshops, proposals, late nights, weekends ... all in the name of creating something that could work for this community of parents that I've grown to love. I'm never going to make 6 figures working in non profit. None of us will. We do it because we love what it stands for, because we love what we do, because we have a passion and commitment for it. To understand that, is to understand me - its what makes me a better person, a better parent - every day. Its the foundation of all things that I want to pass on to my son.
I always thought that having a baby would automatically mean putting my career on hold, quitting my job, and staying home. I also now realize that those are the hopes and dreams of others around me, not mine. I'm comfortable enough with myself to say that I would not be content as a stay home mommy. I love Sullivan - and the time that I spend with him is by far the best of each and every single day. But I also know that NOT being with him every single waking hour is what makes me a better parent - it allows me to fully appreciate the time that I do have with him and forces me to be 110% on my game, all of the time. It pushes me to give him more of myself each day and not take for granted the things that we are able to do. It forces me to be a better wife and Shaun a better husband and father. It has allowed our family to create a truly egalitarian union. There is no his and her jobs in our house (with the exception of spiders). There is no such thing and my money or Shaun's money. We both work equally hard. We both pull our weight. Together, we work seamlessly (most days anyways) to ensure ALL jobs are getting done around the house. If you come to our house you'll more than likely see me picking up dog poop, taking out the trash or taking the cars in for maintenance. You'll probably see my husband cooking, folding laundry or bathing, reading and singing our child to sleep at night. There are no such things as titles or lines drawn in the sand in our family.
And we very much like it that way.
I wouldn't be 100% truthful if I didn't acknowledge that as a woman, it makes me proud to look at the things we have, the places that we go and the things that we do - and say that I have financially contributed equally to those things. I work as hard as any man to provide for my family and still get dinner made, the bills paid and everyone to sleep on time. I still make cupcakes for my husbands work, take my son to classes, and walk my dog. I take my son to the zoo, have play dates with friends and do the grocery shopping. Everyone has clean underwear, lunches made, and my house is not falling apart.
"But you'll never be a PTA Mom. You'll never be able to be a soccer mom." Says who, you? I may not be able to bake cookies or hit the park up with him every single day, but he has a wonderful supporting cast of people in his life that make sure he is not for lack of any of those things. Its a juggling act that I don't have down 100% just yet - I drop a few balls now and again, but its one that I find with each day I get better and more confident at. For first time parents, I don't think we're doing too shabby. And when that little voice of doubt creeps into my head that perhaps I'm being selfish - perhaps we haven't made the right choices; I just look at my son who practically always has a smile on his face and a hug waiting for me as soon as I put my work bag down.
And I know that yes, I am a working mom. And yes, I am perfectly happy with that.
4.16.2010
365
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
I wasn't asleep at this
time
either.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
I laid awake in bed
talking, talking, talking
about the son
that would join us in
12
short
hours.
About the
journey
that it took to get us to that night,
and about the one we were going to
begin.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
I wondered
what you would look like,
what you would feel like,
what you would smell like,
what you would sound like.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
I was filled with
anxiety
and excitement.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
I said
goodbye
to the only life
that I had ever known with the
rising of
that sun -
and said
hello
to a new life with the
sounds
of your very first cry.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
You became the
love of my life
the center of my universe -
A life
that I would without
hesitation
lay down my own for.
You gave my life a
greater
purpose
an intention,
a reason.
Something bigger than
myself.
Than us.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
You gave me a new
name.
Rooted deep with
responsibility,
dreams,
hopes,
that I had never known
until that moment.
Three hundred and sixty five days ago
You became a
teacher
to all the things that
I never knew
I didn't know.
You humbled me.
You still
do.
It has been three hundred and sixty five days
of
learning & laughter
fascination & exhaustion
tears & sighs
tickles & giggles
fears & frustrations
Mama's & Dada's
kisses & hugs
giggles & wiggles
screaming & kicking
lost tempers
early mornings
countless cups of coffee -
made memories,
tender moments
Of lessons learned
and
lessons to be learned.
Its three hundred and sixty five days
that I would never
trade
barter
or wish away
even at its hardest.
Every
single
night
- all three hundred and sixty five of them
I have looked at you
asleep
and thanked you for this life.
For your smile
your spirit
your tenacity
your
laugh.
For your sweet Mama's
and lingering hugs.
For the
chance
to be the
mother
to such a wonderful
tiny
human being.
For
you.
Happy Birthday Sullivan.
4.12.2010
Good to go - Jason Aldean
Waitin at a stop light yesterday
As a funeral procession made its way
Through the gates
I watched it roll up a winding road
Through a field of green
With white headstones all in a row,
And it made me think about where I'm at
On my not so straight and narrow path
All the generous and mostly undeserved
Blessings that I've had
I had an all-american mom and dad
Some of the coolest friends you could ever have
Found love I thought I'd never find
Sometimes I can't believe this life is mine
And I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet
But the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets
Man, I think I'm good to go
I'm good to go
I said a prayer for the dearly departed
And the loved ones left broken hearted
Then traffic started
And I drove away a little more able
To see the good things on my table
And for that I'm grateful
'Cause I've had my troubles had my trials
I've hit the mark and I've missed by miles
Had days that I've been fightin' mad
But the good times have more than
Outweighed the bad
Got to hold my newborn baby girl
And the hand of a man as he slipped from this world
I've laughed so hard I couldn't stop
Seen the sunrise from a mountain top
And I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet
But the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets
Man, I think I'm good to go
Yeah, I've been thinkin' bout where I'm at
On my not so straight and narrow path
And I wouldn't wanna change nothing about
This roll with the punches life I've had
I had an all-american mom and dad
Some of the coolest friends you could ever have
Found love I thought I'd never find
I can't believe this life is mine
And I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet
But the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets
Man, I think I'm good to go
I'm good to go
I'm good to go
4.09.2010
Back it up!
Last week Sully learned how to open the back door and get outside to play with the dogs. He's also been busy mastering going down the stairs, backwards. Apparently, backwards is all the rage now because if there is anything that stands in the way between him and whatever it is he wants, he goes over it, backwards. Wires, blocks, pillows, the dogs - backwards, backwards backwards.
His favorite new thing now is blowing kisses, right before he slams the door in your face. He prefers big boy food over his jar food now, almost completely refusing to eat the stuff except when his mouth hurts. We're working on two new teeth at the moment.
I mean I know everyone keeps telling me how quickly they start to grow, but gawd kid, slow down!
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