Confessions of a toddler

Sully threw a train at me in a fit of anger of being told that he couldn't play the computer. It's not just the computer, throwing something close at hand is his go-to these days when he gets ticked off, and trust me, it doesn't take much.

I calmly told him to go up stairs to cool off. Five minutes later I released him from solitary confinement and we sat and talked on the stairs. I went through our standard check list of questions these days ... "Why did you throw it?", What were you mad about?", "What is a better way to express our anger next time?", "Can throwing things hurt people?", (you get the picture) and - "Do you have anything else to say?"

Now normally this is followed up with an "I'm sorry." (I try really hard not to force him to say sorry.)

He got a really scared look on his face, hung his head down low and said a pitiful "Yeah." Before I could say anything he went right into this panicked ramble of words spewing from his mouth. What I was able to pick up was something along the lines of "I was outside and I pulled the bark off the tree and I scratched at it like this and then I pulled it off more and I broke the branch and I stomped on the bark and I broke the tree and I'm sorry."

It took everything I had in me to hide the giant smile on my face coming out. He was so serious, so scared that he had done something really wrong, and refused to meet my eyes. That is when I know he's scared.

We talked about it, but mainly that I was really proud he told me what he did and how he can tell me anything, even when he's scared. He asked for a hug and my heart just about melted into a puddle on the floor.

There are days I feel certain I could be raising the spawn of a demon - that I have no clue where this child has come from and clearly, my order got mixed with someone else's. And then there are the days that its certain, without a doubt - he is mine. (I use to confess to the most random stuff as a kid. One time, when I was 8, I gave my dad back the Vanilla Ice tape he had bought me and told him I didn't think it was a good idea I listened to it because it had swear words on it. I mean, who does that!? Apparently me and my kid do.)

I've always maintained two things about my child that I hold true to. One, if I can get him to adulthood without him needing any major interventions of therapy, I've done my job well and should get a 'friggen badge. And two; I don't care what paths he chooses to follow in life (okay so obviously no roads of destruction to Druggie Ave. or Alcoholville - I've seen one too many episodes of Intervention to know how those kids end up), who he chooses to love or what he wants to become, so long as he's a good person and does right by other people, but most importantly, right by himself.

I think he's well on that track.

And don't worry Sully - I was always a really crappy liar too. I still am.