Working Mamas

I am a working mother. And yes, I'm perfectly happy with that.

Its really starting to piss me off when stay-at-home moms take pity on me because my husband and I work full-time. But what really gets to me is when they assume I work because I have to & not because maybe, I actually truly enjoy what I do - and find out that given the choice to stay home or work, I'd still choose to be a working mom.

That's when the tongues really start to wag.

I'm tired of society thinking that being a stay home mom is some elite group that all mothers strive to be a part of. Because you know, its really not.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, but he does not define the only thing that I am.

I have good days and bad days being a working mom. There are days that I would rather be spending with my son than behind a desk going through applications, crunching budget numbers or processing provider invoices. There are moments in the day when I'm at my office that I wonder what he's doing. I'm fortunate enough to have a mom who happily spoils her grandson rotten three days a week while I'm at my office. I'm also fortunate to work for a boss & company that understand and respect the idea of being working parents and allow me to work two days a week from my home so that I can be there more for my son.

See, I built this program from the ground up long before the thought of Sully was ever in the picture. As all my co-workers say, this program is my "at work baby". I get the chance to help families every day - to make a difference. I may bitch and grumble about it from time to time, but its something that I'm not willing to easily walk away from. I logged so many hours on and off the clock the first couple of years getting this program to a point where it was functional and working. Meetings, workshops, proposals, late nights, weekends ... all in the name of creating something that could work for this community of parents that I've grown to love. I'm never going to make 6 figures working in non profit. None of us will. We do it because we love what it stands for, because we love what we do, because we have a passion and commitment for it. To understand that, is to understand me - its what makes me a better person, a better parent - every day. Its the foundation of all things that I want to pass on to my son.

I always thought that having a baby would automatically mean putting my career on hold, quitting my job, and staying home. I also now realize that those are the hopes and dreams of others around me, not mine. I'm comfortable enough with myself to say that I would not be content as a stay home mommy. I love Sullivan - and the time that I spend with him is by far the best of each and every single day. But I also know that NOT being with him every single waking hour is what makes me a better parent - it allows me to fully appreciate the time that I do have with him and forces me to be 110% on my game, all of the time. It pushes me to give him more of myself each day and not take for granted the things that we are able to do. It forces me to be a better wife and Shaun a better husband and father. It has allowed our family to create a truly egalitarian union. There is no his and her jobs in our house (with the exception of spiders). There is no such thing and my money or Shaun's money. We both work equally hard. We both pull our weight. Together, we work seamlessly (most days anyways) to ensure ALL jobs are getting done around the house. If you come to our house you'll more than likely see me picking up dog poop, taking out the trash or taking the cars in for maintenance. You'll probably see my husband cooking, folding laundry or bathing, reading and singing our child to sleep at night. There are no such things as titles or lines drawn in the sand in our family.

And we very much like it that way.

I wouldn't be 100% truthful if I didn't acknowledge that as a woman, it makes me proud to look at the things we have, the places that we go and the things that we do - and say that I have financially contributed equally to those things. I work as hard as any man to provide for my family and still get dinner made, the bills paid and everyone to sleep on time. I still make cupcakes for my husbands work, take my son to classes, and walk my dog. I take my son to the zoo, have play dates with friends and do the grocery shopping. Everyone has clean underwear, lunches made, and my house is not falling apart.

"But you'll never be a PTA Mom. You'll never be able to be a soccer mom." Says who, you? I may not be able to bake cookies or hit the park up with him every single day, but he has a wonderful supporting cast of people in his life that make sure he is not for lack of any of those things. Its a juggling act that I don't have down 100% just yet - I drop a few balls now and again, but its one that I find with each day I get better and more confident at. For first time parents, I don't think we're doing too shabby. And when that little voice of doubt creeps into my head that perhaps I'm being selfish - perhaps we haven't made the right choices; I just look at my son who practically always has a smile on his face and a hug waiting for me as soon as I put my work bag down.

And I know that yes, I am a working mom. And yes, I am perfectly happy with that.