The No. 3

Dear Jack,

My tiniest love.
Tomorrow you will be the number free.
I've spent the past couple weeks in a state.
Mainly wondering about the world.
And what it will look like when its handed over to you.
You built an ocean out of legos today.
It was beautiful with all different colors of blue, white and light blue.
You worked for a long time, carefully covering the board.
Expanding your ocean.
Making is bigger. Vaster.
I wanted to badly to scoop you and your brother up -
And sail away to somewhere safe on that little tiny red lego canoe.
Just away.
This isn't a world I'm prepared to hand over to you.
Not like this.

While the world is engaged in hate and unkindness currently,
I'm the most thankful for you.
That you don't know what skin color is.
That you see mommy and daddy as equals.
That people loving people, having moms and dads
or two moms or two dads
is something completely natural and normalized to you.
That you say sorry when someone is hurt,
even when its not your fault.
That you help other children that have fallen down.
That for all of your stubborn and sass
you have a heart of gold.
I'm grateful in these days you are blissfully unaware.
That your biggest concern is finding the last chocolate granola bar,
or packing your garbage truck with scrap pieces of paper you have me rip up.

And while you are busy jumping out of trees,
and off couches,
and swings,
and taking steps two, three at a time,
I promise I'll keeping working to make this world one you're proud to be a part of.

In the meantime keep loving olives.
And zambonis and dogs and trains and the color yellow.
Continue to eat the crap out of pizza and ice cream.
Keep your passion for hockey, and goal horns
and knowing lyrics of movies and songs we didn't even realize you memorized.
Enjoy dancing on the couch naked.
Or running out of the house naked.
Or generally just being naked.
Its good to be comfortable in your own skin.

But most importantly,
and this is truly important ...
Keep being my habitual shit starter.
Continue to be the kid that doesn't take no as an answer lying down.
As your mom I'm telling you now its mentally exhausting BUT
I know it will pay off one day.
The world will need strong minded, smart,
stubborn people like you one day.
That see no color.
That see no religion.
That see everyone as equal.
That see love as love, no matter what.
The world needs children like you,
that will one day grow into adults like you,
that will break down walls.
That will create oceans large and vast.

Happy No. 3 Jack,
I love you too much.
Mom







This year you completely potty trained
This year you started preschool
This year you had surgery on your wonky eye
You love olives and apples and bananas,
and donuts and pizza and french fries.
Your favorite color is yellow.
You obsess over trains and garbage trucks.
You love listening to hockey teams different goal horns and goal songs.
You put yourself in time out when you hit your brother, because you obviously feel it was worth it.
You don't like broccoli or lets just be honest most things. You're picky.
You have this bad habit of spitting out whatever you don't like, wherever you are, into whatever you find.
You love dogs and your brother and guitars and rock n roll.
You say things like "you're killing me!" and "I love you tooooo much.
You have killer dimples.
You are very sassy.
I love you very very very much despite that.