Days

For all of the days that I feel like parenting is a struggle ...

a full time job that I desperately want to call out sick for sometimes ...

a battle of wills ...

a clashing of heads ...

a deadlock ...

For the moments of peace I wish I had,

the hours in the days I plead to get more of ...

When a coherent thought won't come together,

... let alone a coherent sentence.

When I feel flustered,

agitated, aggravated, annoyed ...

And find myself counting to 10 ...

Or locking myself in the bathroom for a self enforced 2 minute time out -

reminding myself he is in fact not a demon spawn

and to just breathe, breathe ...

There are the days like today,

when he hollers "Be right back! I have an idea!" ...

and I hear the clatter of something awkward and large coming up the stairs,

behind the sounds of his bare feet against the wood flooring -

and I worry slightly, anticipating.

When I watch him concentrate so completely, intently,

and hoist it all onto my bed.

"Mama, play with me."

For the days, the moments I want to check out , there are days like today.

Days like today, when I stop dead in my tracks,

drop down the dirty laundry where I stand,

and leave it, until another time.

Just not today.

Days like today, when we blare out our music to the 10 notch,

open the windows to let the sunshine pour in,

dance and jump and sprawl lazily on the bed -

and play and sing and laugh and make silly faces..

And I wonder what I did with my time that was so important before you.

How I could ever want to be anywhere else.

Even momentarily.

And that I'll take it all.

The good and the bad.

That the dancing in circles,

the hair pulling moments,

the mix of bitter and sweet ...

the give and the take ...

Because I know that these simple, ordinary times

of being on the same page -

are what make days like today

into such completely extraordinary moments.

And its days like today that I want to remember

for all the rest of my days.