No amount of coffee could save either of us from the train wreck that I think we both can agree was this morning. Or last night for that matter.
We could talk about how for, the third night in a row, you woke up singing the Wiggles and then demanded them in the middle of gods hour. I don't care if 3:00AM our time IS 3:00 PM Australian time, you ain't getting them child. And if you don't stop, I will be forced to call Intervention and get you the help you need.
And you should know by now that no sleep, especially over 4 grown men who sing with a dinosaur about cold spaghetti, is going to make for a not-so-happy morning for all involved.
We could talk about that water bottle you decided to pour all over our barely-year-old-couch. Lets just say you owe your Nini and Aunt for saving you from that one this morning.
Or maybe we could talk about the rake you used to chase the dogs around the house with today. And when the rake was removed from you possession ...
Maybe we could talk a few minutes about the broom you used to chase the dogs around the house with today. And when said broom was removed from your possession ...
Maybe we can talk about the hockey sticks you used to chase the dogs around the house with today. And when the hockey sticks were, yes, removed from your possession ... you resorted to using the baby vacuum.
That mommy almost threw out the window.
We could talk about the flower beds and trees you decided to scale in the yard to get to the "bitey" cat. Or when you decided to run not once, not twice, but three times into the side yard where all the dog poop is. Damn kid, you're quick.
Or the toilet paper you unraveled into a mountain heap ... again.
Or the train set you took apart and then demanded put back together in a crumbled fit on the floor.
Or the tomatoes at dinner you figured looked better on the ground than in the salad bowl because you decided after biting into one and not liking it, that meant nobody could like them.
You test me. And you know, I'm fortunate for that.
And in the brief moments of insanity when I felt like this may be the day Mommy actually goes completely out of her mind, I remembered what Tammy said to the parents at our workshop last night.
"Do we want "yes" children, children that obey and do always as they are told by everyone around them, or do we want children that think for themselves? They may not be easy to handle, but when they grow up, are they going to do what everyone around them will pressure them to do, or will they be confident enough to think and stand up for themselves?"
I don't want you to be a yes child.
I wasn't a yes child.
And while your Nini smiles and declares at least once a day that you're my "payback" for everything I put her through, I smile on the inside, because, well,
...I'm okay with that.
While it would make my days less hectic and crazed, and just plain easier if you would listen the first time around or (even period sometimes), I'm happy that a gave birth to a habitual line stepper.
God knows I love that tenacious, spunky, wild-child spirit of yours.
I have to admit, the annoyance of having to run after you a third time while trying to get dinner on the table quickly disappeared as I watched you laugh hysterically running through the grass to the one place you know you aren't suppose to be. And as I ran after you, watching your still awkward movements navigate through the yard as quickly as your feet could carry you with your arms out strecthed wide, I laughed too. You had the biggest, widest, most mischievous grin on your face as I caught up to you - and honestly it made me a little sad because I knew in seconds that would be replaced with screams of anger. But because I have to be the responsible one, you still got a time out for a minute or so. And my heart broke a little as you cried those big crocodile tears, because in my mind I pictured my actual foot crushing down your actual tiny free spirit.
As I crouched down to you on the floor to explain why you couldn't be over there, again, you responded with your typical get out a free jail card - a giant unwarranted kiss - and damn you if it doesn't work like a charm every time.
Mommy's a sucker.
As quickly as you can push me to the brink, you reel it all back in with peaceful cuddles in my lap tucked into the crook of my arm just because - and finish it all off with kisses and giggles and sharing of toys and love. And I smile.
Mainly because you didn't try to escape a single time after our "talk". It could have also had something to do with threatening to let the gardeners take you home.
Either way, maybe you do listen after all.
You are my push and pull, my give and take, my daily reminder to do better tomorrow from the lessons we learn from today. And in this fine dance we do of laying down boundaries and trying to step over them; I hope that you have your days of trying to scale up them, or over them or pour them all over my couch. Because the truth is, what works best for us in our family is valuing all members. You may just be a child, a baby, but you've come prepackaged with your own feelings and thoughts and ideas and likes and dislikes ... and if we do this right, you'll grow up knowing that you've always been valued, you've always been respected - that you're allowed to say no to things and we have to be okay with that sometimes. That we're already working hard to set the foundation down for you to be a confident being, an independent thinker - someone allowed to think outside of the box and go against the flow. You're allowed to be stubborn and headstrong, because I guarantee you those are the all attributes that will one day also make you a passionate person, an outspoken person, a driven person full of determination and strength and heart.
No, I doubt not that you will ever be a yes man.
Its not in you nature.
Its not in your genes.
I know you will not always agree with our rules, you will not always be happy with our opinions, you will not always like the outcome - but its my hope for you, that you will not be afraid to every now and again run through the grass, with your arms out stretched laughing hysterically when you think nobody is looking.
You never know, I may be a few steps behind laughing too.
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